Disappearing oneself
Original title: Att försvinna sig
Author: Anna Bennich & Signe Bennich Karlstedt 
Original publisher: Bazar, 2024
Genre: Narrative non-fiction  

When Signe falls ill with anorexia in her early teens, it happens gradually, without her really understanding what is underway. Amid fighting demons of her own, her mother Anna interprets it as “ordinary teenage angst,” until one day Signe confides in Anna. So begins their mutual struggle for Signe’s survival, and for several years they keep parallel journals.

Signe’s journal entries describe the course of the illness, and how starvation numbs her anxiety. Anna’s journal grapples with a mother’s fear, worry and uncertainty; her own guilt and how it all affects the rest of the family. For both of them, writing becomes a strategy to work through thoughts and emotions.

The journals are intertwined in a chronological cascade that carves a path through the illness, through questions about anorexia, recurring reflections, and lessons learned. A few answers, some deepened knowledge, and hopefully solace and hope rise to the surface.